Theme of the Day

A therapist will tell you issues tend to run in waves, such as problems with parents, issues with death or even just problems with school. Recently it seems there is a massive case of broken heart syndrome which leads me to believe that a broken heart can be contagious. The problem with love is pain.

CS Lewis breaks love down into four categories. In the Four Loves he calls each love out by it's name, Storge (affection), Phielo (friendship), Eros (passion) and Agape (charity). Over the last couple of weeks I have been trying to put love into my own category, is it a condition, a habit, a mixture of circumstance and hormones or is it truly a mind blowing event that takes place between two people?

Affection: is fondness through familiarity, especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance. It is described as the most natural, emotive, and widely diffused of loves: natural in that it is present without coercion; emotive because it is the result of fondness due to familiarity; and most widely diffused because it pays the least attention to those characteristics deemed "valuable" or worthy of love and, as a result, is able to transcend most discriminating factors. Ironically, its strength is also what makes it vulnerable. Affection has the appearance of being "built-in" or "ready made", says Lewis, and as a result people come to expect, even to demand, its presence—irrespective of their behavior and its natural consequences.

Phielo: Friendship is a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity. Lewis explicitly says that his definition of friendship is narrower than mere companionship.

Eros: is love in the sense of 'being in love'. This is distinct from sexuality, which Lewis calls Venus, although he does spend time discussing sexual activity and its spiritual significance in both a pagan and a Christian sense. He identifies eros as indifferent.

Charity: is the love that brings forth caring regardless of circumstance. Lewis recognizes this as the greatest of loves, and sees it as a specifically Christian virtue. This is an unconditional love that can be easily taken advantage of.

Love is one of most valuable components of being human we possess but yet it can destroy someone, make them angry beyond belief, make a person crazy and even cause death. Why do we treat it so casual if it's so delicate? I have noticed that when people get hurt from love they want to inflict that pain on someone else whether it be the significant other or the use of someone to help distract or to cope with the loss of the missing person. Making heartbreak contagious. It's a never ending cycle.

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in her book Eat, Pray, Love; "I will never again use someones emotions as a scratching post for my emotional distress." She was referring to using someone when we are down and out, when we hurt, when we need someone in this world to think we are worth something because the person we love may not think so highly of us at the time. This is using people and will only result in their heartache when you are not there for them. Creating a cycle of heart ache. Think about this next time you dump on a friend or stranger, is this a give and take relationship or are you just using them? Will you be there for them in the same circumstance or will you have moved on by then? Never use someones heart to repair the cracks in your own, it's not fair to anyone.

If we were to give to every whim, feeling or emotion we felt we would be little bombs going off everywhere, hurting, creating chaos and destruction with every other breath. Thank God we have a brain to help regulate these emotions and to help us realize what is truly important in our lives and what heartache we stand to gain by trusting something other than what we know.

Love is an ability, not everyone is capable of it. Guard your hearts and your mind from those who are not able. Recognize when you are hurt, angry and mad at the world. Understand that your actions can breed more heartache for others and ultimately building a fence so high around your heart that no one can reach you.

CS Lewis wrote, "The only place safe from Love is Hell." I believe we can put our self in our own personal little hell. We have to choose happiness over suffering. It's a choice we make with our minds not with how we feel.

Place a seal over our heart,

like a seal on your arm;

for love is as Strong as death,

it's jealousy unyielding as the grave.

It burns like fire,

like a mighty flame.

Many waters cannot quench love;

rivers cannot wash it away.

Song of Songs 8:6-7

I used info from CS Lewis, The Four Loves (great book), wiki, Eat Pray Love and the NIV of the Life Application Bible.