L'amor che move il sole e l'altre stelle

"There’s a crack (or cracks) in everyone…that’s how the light of God gets in." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

The last few weeks, I have found myself more in a meditative state of self-exploration and trying to figure out who the hell I am. Why do I do the things I do, am I am good friend, a good wife, a good influence, a good employee, do I inspire hope in others, do I break, decieve and crush? I challenge everyone to do this, it is life changing.

I have been doing a lot of hanging out with David. Yes, that David. How did he do it? How did he have such faith that would change kingdoms and empires? How did he live with himself? I admire his faith and that is why I have fallen in love with him and his writing.

Why is it more often times that not we break our own heart or allow others to do it for us. A teenager tells me "it's because it's worth it, one day it will stick." However do we know love when it really comes along or are we always going to be looking for something better, from someone to make us forget our past, forget who we are and forget that we are more than just our emotions. We take chances, we move, we start new jobs, we start new relationships hoping they will all make us happy. I no longer think there is anything we can do to make ourselves happy but it's only a state of being, a place in your heart, maybe that light that filters in through the cracks. I don't think we have to wait for love to come along, it's already here. It's inside of us, and yes it's inside of you, you love enough that your life is full of it, (yes, you, you know who you are).

A man named Perry....(If you lived with me in Atl you know who I mean) once told me, there may be shadows in your life but you have to remember it takes light to cast those shadows, there is always more light than darkness. No matter how dark things become the smallest amount of light will alway dominate the room. Embrace that and it will be enough.

It seems there are times we look for someone, anyone who is breathing and warm to be our salvation, our redeemers. We look for that person who can make us whole and to make up for all that we have lacked before that person ever came into our lives. We expect that person to save us from the world and life. I am not suggesting this would be a lover, it could be, it could be anyone.....a child, a dog, a partner or a friend.

"In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Where do we find true love? I am starting to believe it is not in someone else but only can be found in ourselves. True love is when we accept our shortcomings and allow others to love us despite them. True love is faith in yourself, it's love and light that others see, if patience, it's hope and it can never be found. It can only be realized.


A good read as well:

http://lindseyshea.blogspot.com/2008/09/blog-revival.html